Dating Coach
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce
During divorce proceedings, listen to your gut instinct It can steer you in the right direction. When something seems a bit off, go with your feelings rather than trying to rationalise what your intuition is telling you. When a negotiation appears to be acceptable, yet does not seem quite right, take a pause. Say you require more time. Then get in touch with your gut feelings.
What is intuition?
The Max Planck Institute in Berlin states that intuition is a “form of unconscious intelligence.” It is derived from the Latin verb intueri which means to look inside. When feeling caught in a whirlwind of emotions, it is challenging to get in touch with your intuition. Thoughts are rapidly swirling around in your brain nonstop. Is there a message persistently trying to grab your attention? Stop and listen to it. Meditation helps many to calm their minds and be in a more receptive state. Do not try and rationalise your feeling.
HeartMath Institute describes three types of intuition. The nonlocal one is “knowledge or a sense of something that cannot be explained by past or forgotten knowledge.” You receive information intuitively of the best course of action to take. Listen without trying to analyse it. When discussing various options during divorce, pause and get in touch with your feelings. Ask for a break when feeling uncomfortable or being pushed into something. What is your gut instinct saying? HeartMath talks about the “interconnectedness of everything in the universe.” An example is when a person has a sudden realisation that an individual in a distant locale has died. This knowledge cannot be explained.
Do not argue with gut instinct
Listening to my instinct during my divorce saved me over £30,000. I got the feeling to go to a grocery store where I do not shop. Then stand in front of the milk. That was ludicrous. My gut feeling seemed totally bonkers. Eventually I gave in and did that. The key person for divorce finances had decided to buy milk at that time. My mum, husband and I had put money into buying our marital home. My mum lost the papers and the bank had been sold. I was told that I would have to give my husband 1/3 of the house value. The banker who handled this transaction a decade earlier, had remembered it and said my mother paid more and I only owed 1/6 to my husband. I promptly called my solicitor’s office and put this woman on the line. When I stopped judging the message, I was able to act on it.
In another case, a friend did not listen to a strong gut feeling and that later caused a problem with co-parenting. Anita felt the marital home should be sold and each of them buy a new residence. She let her husband buy her out. Instead of the teens going to two new places, they mainly stayed in their familiar rooms in the marital home after their activities. The son had visits with his mother, the daughter did not. She wanted to stay in her room and not go out. The father kept saying how Anita had left them and moved out. Two new places would have made the false claim of abandonment unrealistic. The son was able to see through it, but not her daughter. The girl still refuses to be in contact with Anita. Stand your ground and listen to your gut feeling even if you do not understand it.
Whether you feel a prick of danger walking down a deserted street or when negotiating maintenance in a solicitor’s office, be aware of your gut instinct. Your intuition has your best interest at heart.
Read more articles by Wendi Schuller.
Wendi Schuller
Wendi Schuller is a dating coach who helps people after divorce and break-ups to start dating again. She is a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and a nurse. She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce. https://globalguidetodivorce.com
She writes the Jack Jack The Cat series for children.