Founding Member Partner KMJ Solicitors
The reasoning behind divorces ranges from the unique and shocking to the textbook irritation of spouses.
The latter is very much commonplace in married life and can often result in the demise of holy matrimony.
Although the divorce rate in the UK has dropped quite a bit over the last few years, there are still plenty of people who find themselves with seemingly no choice but to part ways.
In some cases, a divorce is the result of a couple growing apart or some unavoidable circumstance.
But in many other situations, certain actions or behaviour have been the main reason for the destruction of a relationship, ensuring the marriage ends in divorce.
In this article, we’ll take a look at a few of the day-to-day and long-term issues that will make sure your marriage stands next to no chance of lasting.
Step One: Rude and Unreasonable Behaviour
From a very young age, we are taught the importance of good manners, and whether it’s in a social or professional environment, they can make or break relationships.
Not only is rudeness and being unreasonable hurtful to the one that you love; it’s also an embarrassing trait to have in social situations.
If you’re interrupting people, being rude to their friends or family, or prioritising your own time over that of your partner’s, you’re ticking all the boxes for snappy separation.
If rudeness is a recent development that a couple fails to acknowledge and attempt to find the source of the irritation, there’s a good chance it will mean curtains for the relationship.
No-one should have to deal with rudeness on a daily basis. The workplace is somewhere you might expect it, but not at home where you want to relax. Good manners don’t cost a thing — a phrase you should always keep in mind.
Step Two: All Work and No Play
There’s no doubt a successful career is something that most people strive to achieve, and doing so is a huge benefit to support a family and all of the responsibilities that go with it.
That said, individuals who spend a significant amount of their time focusing on their work life will often see their personal life suffer as a result.
This is especially prominent for small business owners — of which there are many in the modern business world — as they are responsible for an entire company and all of the duties it entails.
By spending the majority of your time working on the various aspects of your professional life, your career will undoubtedly benefit. But, in the process, there’s a good chance it will cost you your marriage.
Step Three: Be Financially Unreliable
Now, this may sound like a contradiction to our previous point, as you’ll have to work a fair amount to be able to support your family.
But in this case, we aren’t speaking about your ability to make money; it’s more your ability to maintain it and be trustworthy with the funds you do have in the bank.
Becoming unreliable with money could be down to any number of reasons, whether it’s in regards to your professional life such as investments, or your personal life, where habits and addictions can come into play.
No matter the reason, it causes a massive strain on your family, both emotionally and financially.
If you have to bail yourself out with the money needed for bills and other essential payments, you’re sure to find that the next asset that leaves your side will be your partner.
Step Four: Dishonesty
This is a big one! Trust is one of the cornerstones of any relationship.
Dishonesty is an efficient way to diminish the trust in a marriage and ensure an eventual divorce. As you read this, you’ll probably be imagining the big lies that ruin marriages, such as cheating or lying about money.
But in reality, many of the lies that bring a marriage to its knees are day-to-day happenings that don’t even need to be lied about. It’s often not the lie itself. It’s the principle of your partner being a dishonest person.
Lies — yes, that includes ‘white lies’ as well — aren’t the only form of dishonesty that can cause significant problems.
If you have knowledge of something that could undermine your relationship or have a major effect on your family, but decide to keep schtum, then you’re just as dishonest as those with pants on fire.
The reasons for divorce are always unique and relate to the situation of the two people involved.
But, when it comes down to the basic reasoning of why the marriage didn’t run its course, the points mentioned above are often the culprits. These four steps are very common and, when put into effect — and the recipient is pushed to their limit — they will ensure that your marriage fails.
About Clayton Miller
Clayton Miller is a family lawyer based in London and the lead partner of KMJ Solicitors. His firm provides legal advice on matters relating to family law — from prenuptial agreements to child care arrangements to divorces.