Make Peace With Your Ex: Kids Do Best After Divorce if Parents Get Along

Parents who get along well after their divorce are 53% likelier to say their kids adjusted well than parents who get along badly. Could this encourage co-parents to act civilly for the sake of the kids?

The new data released also shows that the parent who files for divorce is 14% likelier to get the custody time they want or more.

Custody X Change, a co-parenting app, surveyed 1,000 people who had a divorce involving child custody in the past two years. Participants were U.S.-based and completed the survey last month.

“This data has the potential to help a parent make their divorce as smooth as possible,” said Ben Coltrin, Custody X Change co-founder and president.

Exes who get along well have well-adjusted kids

Eighty-four percent of parents who reported getting along well with their ex said their children have also adjusted well. But only 55% of parents who get along badly said their children have adjusted well.

While this is a strong correlation, it does not prove cause and effect. The parents’ relationship may be affecting the child’s happiness, the child’s happiness may be affecting the parents’ relationship, and numerous other factors may be involved.

Nonetheless, Coltrin said, “We hope this motivates divorced parents to look at what could be the effects of how they treat each other and what could help their children thrive.”

Divorce petitioners happier with custody schedules than respondents

Ninety-five percent of parents received a court-ordered custody schedule. Of these parents, most got at least the custody time they wanted, but this was more likely for the petitioner in the case.

The correlation between petitioning for divorce and getting the custody time desired could have numerous explanations.

For instance, there might be a court bias toward the petitioner; the parent with the stronger case might be more likely to petition; and petitioners might have more reasonable expectations overall than respondents. More research is needed to understand the contributing factors.

The survey also found that petitioners are likelier to be happy with how the custody schedule is working. Ten percent more petitioners said their schedule is working well, and 7% fewer petitioners said it’s working badly.

Might this be because they’re happier with their amount of parenting time? Of parents awarded the time they wanted or more, only 3% thought the schedule was working badly. And, as explained above, petitioners had a better chance of being awarded that time.

Shea Drefs began her career as a news reporter. For more than five years now, she has led a writing team that helps parents understand child custody and co-parenting. She particularly enjoys making complex legal processes easy to understand.

About Custody X Change: This powerful tool helps divorced and single parents create parenting plans, track their custody schedules, manage expenses and more. Since 2005, we’ve helped over 60,000 parents ensure the best possible future for their children. www.custodyxchange.com