Stacey Hart and Emma Cohn run a support program in London for children going through divorce.
In this interview Stacey talks to us about children and divorce explaining how divorced parents can help children in coping with divorce and what it takes for them to have a good enough life after divorce.
What is the impact of divorce on children?
Stacey explains that the main issue they found with children of divorce is a reaction that is very similar to the grieving process.
Dealing with divorce and the divorce process is like going through a bereavement; the shock, sadness, denial and angry about what has happened to them is very real. They are also frightened and experience some anxiety too.
What can parents to do help their children during and after the divorce process?
- Be honest with the children and keep telling them that they are still loved
- Remind that that the divorce wasn’t their fault
- Stick to the boundaries that you had before
- Provide them with as much support as possible
- What parents can do to help
- Have the same routine every week as this can play a role in helping lessen anxiety
- Avoid heated conversations in front of the children
- Try and make transitions between homes as smooth as possible
- Avoid making promises that you cannot keep
Should children have a say in where they live?
Yes. They should have a voice. They should not have to make major decisions though but they need to be able to communicate to their parents what it is that they want.
Stacey Hart is an experienced counsellor who has been working with children, young people and adults for the last 10 years.
More recently she has been working in the field of child bereavement-facilitating, devising and delivering workshops.
Stacey is a member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists.
For more information about A Kids Space click here – akidspace.co.uk