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Menodivorce or Menopause? Feeling out of control at Christmas
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Menodivorce or Menopause? Feeling out of control at Christmas

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Sarah Barr-Young
Sarah Barr-Young Head of Financial Remedies Department at Jones Myers, Harrogate

Sponsored post by Jones Myers.

A series of studies has highlighted a connection between menopause and divorce – with many women attributing the menopause as a key factor in their relationship breakdown.

The festive season can be a particularly stressful time for married and separated couples for several reasons. High on the are list are financial worries, concerns about seeing their children – and the pressure of expectations to make the holiday magical and memorable for loved ones.

While I am not a medical expert, I am aware that seasonal stress can exacerbate physical and mental symptoms of menopause and perimenopause, the transitional phase before menopause. They include tiredness, hot flushes and mood swings along with feelings of inadequacy and shortcomings.

As a family law specialist with extensive experience in working with women in their mid-lives, I know how hard many of them find openly discussing their emotions with their nearest and dearest, a contributory factor in findings linking menopause and divorce.

Another worrying factor from the research focuses on the vital role of solicitors. Many women who have divorced while undergoing the menopause say their family lawyers failed to include the menopause and its impact on their deteriorating relationships in divorce discussions.

While this may be attributable to a lack of awareness or understanding, it requires addressing as a priority to ensure our family law profession fulfils its responsibility to assess every aspect of our clients’ lives following a relationship breakdown and guide and support them in reaching the best possible solutions.

Jones Myers’ holistic approach explores all areas of our clients’ lives, signposting them to third parties, whether this be counsellors, therapists or IFAs, when appropriate. Our firm’s approved internal list of referrers ensures clients receive the highest quality advice for their unique circumstances.

Finances are another key area where we guide and assist clients undergoing separation or divorce.

Many perimenopausal and menopausal women deciding to make the break have chosen to sacrifice their careers or put them on hold to bring up their families. This may have prevented them from saving money or accruing a work pension, later prompting major fears of how they will manage post-divorce.

We recognise clients’ concerns over finances – and how many women during their marriages have not had to manage practicalities such as tax, standing orders or direct debits.

Helping clients to plan for their future both pre and post-divorce, our holistic approach sees  us work with tried and tested financial advisers who support our clients to stay on track as  they embark on the next phase of their lives.

I urge all women who are feeling the season’s pressures and thinking about divorce and separation, to seek help from professionals and family lawyers who understand the challenges they face – and who can guide them on the right path.

For queries on any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at Leeds 0113 246 0055, Harrogate 01423 276104, or York 01904 202550. Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 5th in the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2025.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Sarah Barr-Young

Sarah brings a wealth of expertise to her role as Head of Jones Myers’ award-winning Financial Remedies Department at the firm’s Harrogate town centre office.

Highly experienced in complex, high net worth financial disputes, Sarah’s reputation in business property portfolios, pensions on divorce and resolving disputes out of court through negotiation is widely recognised.

A named Legal 500 ‘Key’ Lawyer and Chambers ‘Notable Practitioner’, Sarah is respected and valued by clients as a strong ‘no nonsense’, knowledgeable, strategist who is also patient and empathetic.

A long-standing admirer of Jones Myers’ reputation for delivering excellence in client care and legal services of the highest calibre, Sarah relishes the opportunity to be instrumental to the practice’s continued growth.

Sarah is an accredited resolution specialist in Complex Financial Remedies and Private Children Law and is a Member of Resolution.

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people considering surrogacy
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Free Clinics will offer legal advice to people considering surrogacy

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Victoria Maxwell
Victoria Maxwell
Associate Solicitor
Family Team
Bishop & Sewell’s

The number of parents having a baby using a surrogate in England and Wales has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years, but with ‘commercial’ surrogacy still illegal in the UK, many people have questions over their legal rights and responsibilities. 

To help intended parents navigate the complex legal issues associated with creating a family in this special way, law firm Bishop & Sewell will launch a series of free Surrogacy Clinics delivered by international surrogacy expert Victoria Maxwell. 

From Thursday 12 May 2022, intended parents considering surrogacy can have a free, confidential 30-minute consultation to discuss the legal issues surrounding surrogacy.  

Victoria Maxwell, an Associate Solicitor in Bishop & Sewell’s Family Team, specialises in international surrogacy and is ranked in the Legal 500 as a Rising Star in family law.  

She said: “We are launching these free clinics to help intended parents considering surrogacy to understand and navigate the complex legal issues involved and to provide practical legal support as they begin their surrogacy journey.

For those researching surrogacy options, our legal clinic will also provide advice on a range of important factors, such as choosing the best surrogacy route and appropriate jurisdiction.” 

The free, no obligation Surrogacy Clinics will be offered on a first-come-first-served basis online or over the phone. Clinics will be available on Tuesdays at 12pm and Thursdays at 2.30pm and can help with a range of surrogacy-related matters including: 

  • Planning for surrogacy in the UK or overseas  

  • Advice on the legal parentage considerations surrounding surrogacy  

  • Advice on the process for Parental order applications   

  • Practical advice on choosing the appropriate jurisdiction for your surrogacy journey  

  • The approach of the English courts in international surrogacy cases  

  • Legal help with any surrogacy disputes that arise   

For more information on surrogacy and details of how to book a free 30-minute surrogacy clinic session with Victoria Maxwell, please call 020 7097 2707 or email vmaxwell@bishopandsewell.co.uk 

About Bishop & Sewell LLP 

Bishop & Sewell is a long-established, full service Central London law firm – with an international reach – specialising in personal, property and commercial legal matters. 

Each of our clients receives legal services tailored to their particular needs and delivered in a practical and highly responsive manner.

We pride ourselves on exceeding our clients’ expectations through providing advice and assistance of the highest calibre, but which is also accessible and keeps in mind commercial realities. This ensures we help our clients – whether individuals or businesses – to navigate their legal issues effectively and achieve the very best possible outcomes.  

We can assist you with a range of legal services from making a will to buying a new home, resolving a family difficulty, adding to your property portfolio or defending your reputation.  

For more information about Bishop & Sewell please visit our website: www.bishopandsewell.co.uk 

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PhD Research - Can you Help.

PhD Research – Can you Help?

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Suzi Godson
PhD Researcher

Divorce is a miserable experience at any time, but in mid-life it can be even more challenging.

This is particularly true for women, who are often juggling biological chaos, with an empty nest, ageing parents and rapidly diminishing employment options.

Because many women who divorce in midlife are ill informed about the nature of the legal process, they assume that their partner has on-going financial responsibility for them.

In fact, a middle-aged woman who is employed and/or has assets, may find that the reverse is the case. And although we read about celebrities having quickie divorces, in reality, the process can be frustratingly slow.

In order to understand this experience more completely, I am carrying out a PhD study which explores what it feels like to transition out of a long-established marriage in midlife.

It’s a timely study because although the overall divorce rate has stabilised at around 42%, in mid-life, the odds of divorce are much worse. In 2013 alone, nearly 60,400 people over the age of 50 got divorced in England and Wales, and between 1991 and 2011 there has been a 73% increase in the number of divorces awarded to men over the age of sixty; the average length of those marriages was 27 years.

 

The study is longitudinal, so it tracks women from Decree Nisi through to Decree Absolute and beyond.

It will also explore the impact of employment and income. Taking part in the study involves two or three relaxed face-to-face interviews and everything that is said is completely anonymous and confidential.

I am still looking for a few participants who are working and earning over 22.5k a year and if this sounds like you, I’d love to hear from you.

You need to be female, aged 50+,  getting divorced,  have your Decree Nisi, but not your Decree Absolute and your children should be aged 18+.

To join the study, type the following URL into the search bar of your web engine and fill in the short questionnaire that appears: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DivorceStudy2017

 Alternatively you can email me at suzigodson@mac.com.

Credit feature photo – Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash

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INVITATION FOR RESEARCH PARTICIPATION

Straight Men in Couples Therapy – Invitation for Research Participation

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The Experience of Straight Men in Couples Therapy

 Volunteers are needed for a research project into heterosexual men’s experience of gender identity in couples therapy.

This study is being carried out as part of my studies at NSPC Ltd and Middlesex University for the award of DProf in Existential Psychotherapy.

Statistics published in December 2012 estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce.  In addition, couples cohabiting that are not married amounted to 5.9 million people in the UK in 2012, which is double the 1996 figure.  While research exists into the experience of therapists and female participants in couples therapy, little is known about the experience of the male partner.

My study is designed to explore what couples therapy is like for the heterosexual male participant.  This will be carried out by face-to-face interviews that will last approximately one hour.

The study does require that some initial criteria be fulfilled for participation, namely:

Men that identify as heterosexual, British and middle-class who have experience couples therapy for at least six weeks.   The couples therapy should not be on-going and must have finished at least three months ago.

If you are interested in participating and wish to know more, please contact me,

Mark Paget, on 07436 537814 or MP1174@live.mdx.ac.uk

As a therapist in further training at the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling, my research has been granted ethical approval by NSPC/Middlesex University and is overseen by my university supervisor Dr Niklas Serning (niklas@serning.com)

Mark PagetAbout Mark

Mark Paget is a final year doctoral student in existential psychotherapy. 

He is a fully accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy and holds an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy. 

Mark has worked for the NHS around sexuality and gender since 2012 and is currently looking to recruit straight male participants who have experienced couples / relationship therapy

 

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Unresolved Former Relationship
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TV Request – Unresolved Former Relationship

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Unresolved Former RelationshipTwoFour Broadcast, the award-winning TV company behind programmes such as Educating Yorkshire, This Time Next Year and The Jump are working on a new TV series and are looking for people to take part.

The new show will explore past relationships, giving you the chance to approach your ex in a heartfelt and genuine way

The TwoFour casting team are looking to speak to you if you have an unresolved former relationship. You may want a second chance, the answer to specific questions or just to find some closure once and for all.

Aiming to create a positive experience for you and your ex, the team will reunite couples in a comfortable and relaxed space – a chance to honestly talk things through and move forward.

Once they have your blessing, the team will be the ones who would reach out to your ex to see if they’re interested.

Interested in taking part?

The filming will take place in London and you will be required to take part for two days in February 2017.

Cameras will be discreet and non-intrusive, so couples can feel relaxed in their own space without the presence of a crew.

All travel expenses will be covered, as well as dinner and accommodation.

How to apply:

If you’re interested, or know someone else who might be, then please get in touch with TwoFour today. Click here to register your interest or if you have any questions email relationships@twofour.co.uk, quoting The Divorce Magazine.

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How to Smile Again – Sponsored Story

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When the ‘pillars of our community’ breakdown

Many Are Suffering from Trauma and Don’t Even Know It

 ANNA PINKERTON PR

Many high achievers struggle to cope with life events such as divorce, bereavement, violence or sexual abuse because of the “get over it” culture of the corporate world, according to a leading psychotherapist.

Sometimes, they are suffering all the symptoms of trauma, but are unlikely to take time off work to recover. Instead they put on a brave face in public when in fact they are just days or weeks from breaking down. Sometimes they are struck out of life with no warning having devastating effect on all areas of their life.

Trauma specialist, Anna Pinkerton, details her findings in her new book,

How to Smile Again: Recovery for those in public life but in private pain.

 ANNA PINKERTON HOW TO SMILE AGAIN

How to Smile Again

“Professional people are so used to coping with whatever life throws at them. Their whole identity is bound up in coping and being successful. After shocking events outside of their control they can be filled with shame and despair; they wonder why they’re not coping better,” she says.

 

Anna 46 who is based in Derbyshire has devoted her professional life to treating patients suffering from post-traumatic stress disorders. Her approach is unique using simple images to help people understand what is happening to them, she shares these in her book.

 

She says trauma can be caused by one off shocking events and slow to build stresses over a long period of time. “It is not the severity of an incident, but the impact on the person that matters. Someone can have an accident, which seems to be minor, but it traumatises them because it triggers a connection with other unresolved experiences stored in their memory,” she explains.

 

Symptoms of trauma include:

  • Consistent difficulty with concentrating
  • Acute Anxiety
  • Binge drinking and binge eating
  • Having a ‘short fuse’
  • Insomnia
  • Trembling
  • Loss of appetite
  • Self harming
  • Short term memory loss
  • Depression

Anna, who is a mother of two, has devoted her professional life to helping hundreds of emotionally, psychologically and physically injured people to rebuild their lives. She has a thorough understanding, not only through dealing with clients but through personal experience. She was shocked when a violent assault by her partner in June 2011 left her with post traumatic stress.

“I’m living proof that it can happen to anyone. Even an expert can be crippled by trauma. You are at the mercy of your nervous system. Because of this I know it is possible to be struck out of life as you knew it, and I also know it is possible to repair yourself even if you feel utterly broken and are suffering in silence,” she says.

 

The Author:

Anna Pinkerton is an art psychotherapist, trauma practitioner and coach who has dedicated her career to understanding post-traumatic stress. Her therapy centre CHAPTERS is based in Derbyshire, though she has office in London and helps people all around the UK.

How to Smile Again: Recovery for those in public life but in private pain by Anna Pinkerton is available from bookshops from 11th June 2015

 

For a review copy, serialisation rights, extracts or to arrange an interview with the author, contact:

Anna Pinkerton

07899 688845 anna@annapinkerton.com

Anna is also available to write by-lined features and articles

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