Senior Associate & Solicitor
Nelsons Solicitors
According to statistics, there is an increased risk of separation between parents of children with autism due to the challenges posed by the condition placing an additional strain on the relationship.
Agreeing on living arrangements for autistic children when parents are separated can be a complex and challenging process. Rina Mistry, senior associate from Nelsons solicitors is outlining some of the steps and considerations that may help in such situations.
Child’s best interest
First and foremost, it is vital that the child’s well-being and best interests are prioritised over and above personal differences. Parents must consider the child’s unique needs, routines, and preferences when deciding on living arrangements. This must be made a priority; the focus is the children’s best interests and not the interests of the parents.
Open communication
Parting couples need to maintain an open, respectful, and constructive communication with the other parent. Discussing the child’s needs, strengths, challenges, and potential living arrangements should be carried out in a calm and constructive manner. This does not necessarily need to be in person, and it is now very common for parents to use court-approved apps as an effective way of co-parenting.
Parents need to acknowledge and respect the other parent’s role in their child’s life. A positive relationship between the child and both parents should also be encouraged.
Consistency and routine
Children with autism often display repetitive behaviours and interests, meaning that they benefit from having a strict routine in place. One way in which to do this would be for the parents to remain living in the family home together. However, this might not be practical in the circumstances and could certainly present difficulties.
Nesting or birdnesting is becoming increasingly popular among separating parents and can provide a short-term solution to the arrangements for the children while long-term plans are being made. The advantage of a nesting arrangement is that the children will remain in the family home (the nest), while the parents leave and return to the property sequentially.
At the very least, parents need to aim for consistency and stability in their child’s living environment and routines. This could include creating a schedule that allows the child to adapt comfortably between both parents’ homes.
Collaborative decision-making
Parents should seek to collaborate on and agree on a detailed parenting plan that includes the child’s specific needs and care requirements and the living schedule, including weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations.
The parenting plan should address how both parents can support the child’s therapies, schooling, medical appointments, and any other important decisions that need to be taken and agreed upon.
Flexibility and adaptability
It is important to be flexible and willing to adapt the living and contact arrangements as the child’s needs change over time. Parents are also advised to maintain a cooperative approach, allowing adjustments when necessary.
Professional input
Based upon the circumstances, advice from therapists, educators, or healthcare professionals who understand your child’s needs may need to be obtained. Their insights and recommendations can provide guidance in creating suitable living arrangements.
Documentation
Separating couples should keep records of all agreements and modifications made regarding their children’s living arrangements. Written documentation can help prevent misunderstandings and serve as a reference if conflicts arise.
Self-care
Finally, take care of yourselves as parents. Managing a child’s needs, especially one with autism, can be demanding. Ensure you have a support system and take time for self-care to manage stress effectively.
Remember, each situation is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Flexibility, empathy, and a child-centred approach are key in finding suitable living arrangements that meet the needs of an autistic child in a separated family.
Guidance and advice from a specialist family law solicitor can be instrumental in navigating these challenges and can ensure clarity and enforceability in the arrangements made.
Read more articles by Nelsons Solicitors.
About Rina Minstry
Rina qualified as a Solicitor in 2013 and joined the expert Family Law team at Nelsons in December 2020 as a Senior Associate, following its acquisition of Glynis Wright & Co.
Rina advises on a wide range of family law work, including divorce, civil partnership dissolution, finances, separation agreements, child arrangements, parental responsibility, cohabitation/living together agreements, Prohibited Steps and Specific Issues Orders, child relocation, parental alienation and domestic violence.